Why NO Kids?

So I never wanted to have kids, never, for as long as I can remember. This perplexes most (ok, almost all) people I’ve met. I’m sure there are some good reasons for this fundamental thinking of mine. Let me try and explore them, especially as some friends of mine are keen that I explain my stance. I am doing this particularly for the benefit of the childless couples around, who are either yearning for kids or are saddened by this facet of their lives. None of what I am writing is to disrespect anyone’s choices in life, or to put down upon kids/people with kids. This is my personal opinion and since I respect others opinions, please respect mine too and do not subject it to debate, because this article is not open to debate!

Hmm, so I had grown up seeing my Mom dedicate her life, breadth, every last bit of energy – all for us. So I always felt, that as a woman I dont want to dedicate my entire life to raising two kids. I wanted to do a great deal of social work in life and dedicate my life to making a difference to the lives of millions of people (if possible) and not just two lives.

The person I idolize said it in very simply terms one day – ‘Kids keep you in the rat-race’. Perfect, I thought, bang on. Women do bear a great deal of physical effort to raise kids, while men dedicate their entire lives to earn money to give the kids a good upbringing.

Thus I always saw our ‘obsession’ to have kids as what has kept the world in a stagnant state. I didn’t want to just pass through this stagnantly without trying my best to alleviate some problems.

I also thought that there is so much hurt, pain and suffering going around in this world, do I really want to subject another one or two lives to it?

Then, I saw so many orphaned and poor kids around, who could do with good families, but very few people were willing to adopt. And yes I always thought that IF I ever have any kids, they would be adopted. I get surprised by those who are keen to have ‘their own’ baby, because all that is needed is an open mind and heart, and life gives you the joys that one is pinning for.

I always wanted to spend my lifetime pursuing my own interests, my own ambitions, my goals in life. Kids are a life-time commitment, even after they grow up. I was never ready for this commitment for others, and wanted to live my life committed to myself. Everyone keeps saying that they would do what they love to do and what they always wanted to, after their retirement. This is only because of family responsibility, and I certainly dont mean to say that one shouldn’t fulfil those, but the biggest contributor to this responsibility is – children. So I want to really really tell those who dont have children, to consider this time and opportunity granted to them as a gift to be utilized to its fullest.

Lastly, all this ‘kids’ thing is media-fed and cultural junk for me. I personally dont think that – a woman is complete when she has a baby/becomes a mum. But almost all people believe this to be true. I think this is hogwash to keep women in the circle of subjugation/bounded, by keeping her busy with children. I think a woman is complete on her own. Nor is a man defined by his ability to father children. That is such caveman thinking, but people still hang onto it. Its unfortunate.

So there I am, done with my reasons, sane or insane, for saying a NO to kids. I am very happy with it and so is my husband. Think about it!